Seven Ways to Hold Onto Yourself While Caring for Someone Else

By June Duncan

Caring for someone else, especially for the first time, can feel like stepping into a house with no windows, where the air is tight and every sound echoes louder than it should. You don’t know where anything is, and you don’t yet trust the furniture. The days start to blur, the list of responsibilities doubles overnight, and sleep starts to feel optional. This shift can happen fast. You show up for someone you love, but somewhere along the way, you stop showing up for yourself. Here’s how to keep your well-being intact before you lose sight of it entirely.

Set Boundaries Early

The sooner you create guardrails, the longer you’ll last. Caregiving demands empathy, but it should not ask you to bleed yourself dry to prove your love. That means deciding upfront what your limits are—emotionally, physically, and logistically. Maybe you won’t respond to non-urgent messages after 9 p.m. Maybe Sundays are off-limits. Either way, establishing clear caregiving boundaries protects both parties. People respect what you enforce, not what you intend.

Lean Into Micro-Routines

When life becomes chaotic, rituals become rescue boats. Think smaller than you usually would: a cup of tea made the same way each morning, five deep breaths before you unlock your phone, moisturizer that smells like eucalyptus. Don’t aim to overhaul your schedule, just find slivers of space that stay consistent. There’s power indaily self-care habits, even when they only take three minutes. The point is to reclaim pieces of the day as yours. That tiny, steady repetition is where calm starts to build.

Don’t Pause Your Ambitions

You don’t need to shelve your career or academic goals just because your life shifted. In fact, holding onto them might be what grounds you. With a bachelor’s program in IT, for example, you could gain real-world skills in cybersecurity and tech while balancing care duties from home. Online degrees are flexible, asynchronous, and built for folks with complicated calendars. You don’t have to do it all at once—one course at a time still counts. Your ambition still matters, even now.

Ask for Help Without Apology

Stop trying to be a hero. It’s boring, unsustainable, and nobody likes watching someone crash while pretending they’re fine. Asking for help isn’t just okay—it’s intelligent. Whether it’s a sibling picking up groceries, a neighbor covering one afternoon, or hiring occasional respite care, you’re building something better. Support networks for caregivers aren’t luxuries, they’re necessities. The sooner you ask, the sooner others know how to show up.

Move Your Body, Even Briefly

You don’t need a full gym circuit or fancy leggings. Ten minutes of stretching while the coffee brews, a few jumping jacks before your shower, or dancing to an old song in the kitchen—movement doesn’t require structure, only intention. Your body will thank you, especially when you’ve been glued to a chair all day. Energy begets energy, even in small doses. There are plenty of short workouts for busy schedules that don’t involve leaving your house. Movement is medicine you don’t have to refill.

Sleep Is Non-Negotiable

Cut corners anywhere else but here. Sleep is the operating system for everything else you do—your patience, your memory, your immune system, your sanity. Skipping it doesn’t make you noble, it makes you slower and sadder. Even if you can’t always control the number of hours, you can improve the quality. That starts with improving sleep hygiene: a wind-down routine, no blue light late at night, maybe a weighted blanket if you’re into that. Good sleep lets you wake up as a whole person, not just a depleted caretaker.

Let Go of Perfectionism

You will forget things. You will lose your patience. You will eat cereal for dinner three nights in a row. None of that means you’re failing. The hardest part isn’t the logistics, it’s the guilt—especially if you think love should look like flawless performance. It doesn’t. Overcoming caregiver guilt starts when you decide to measure yourself by effort, not outcomes. You’re doing enough. Keep going.

New caregivers often arrive to the role with open hearts and no map. But you can make one as you go. Not by becoming someone else, but by refusing to disappear into the work. There’s a difference between sacrifice and self-erasure. You’re allowed to build a life that holds your needs too, not just the ones you’re responsible for. Care begins at home, and home includes you.

You can find exceptional healthcare services tailored to your needs at Cholla Medical Group and take the first step towards a healthier future today!